With the common adage "the early bird gets the worm," one tends to believe that the "worm" is a special treat. Not true in the case of early morning television programs. It seems that if you rise too early, you're unlikely to find "worm" worthy television programs.
This morning (Saturday) I caught the end of a few paid programs airing at 8:30am. Of course, 8:30am hardly constitutes early morning, but I noticed that most cable stations refrain from decent broadcasting before 9am. This is a pretty clear indication that cable stations recognize that people sleep later on the weekends, so they resort to paid programs to fill these times.
My favorite early morning paid program concerns colon cleasing. What a wonderful topic to discuss first thing in the morning. I love to sip my coffee and listen to all the things trapped in my colon. In addition, I feel at ease learning about parasites growing in my gastrointestinal tract. The solution is simple: buy this powder that mixes with liquid for consumption. Drink this concoction and wait. Soon this mix will push parasites and tape worms right out of your colon, because we all know that our friends judge us based on the cleanliness of our colons! You would have to make a weekend out of this, because you really never know when suddenly you'll have "fire in the hole!" That's just not something you want to happen during the week, especially at work.
This refreshing feeling will be something that I'll just have to imagine. I am an impoverished college student who is unwilling to spend money to get stuff out of my body I paid for in the first place.
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